Life as an Imperfectionist

It's been more than a year?!?!?!

2011-08-18T18:58:00.000-07:00

Uh, oops!!!!! I knew I was behind on blogging, and then I knew that I hadn't blogged in a long time, and then I thought I'd get back into it when I felt like it. Guess I didn't realize that it really had been over a YEAR! And you know how everyone tells you, "Write it down because you'll forget it," it's true. Reading through some of the older posts, it's like I'm reading about someone else's life it seems so long ago. I feel like blogging again. My memory thanks me.

Legacy: What are your earliest memories?

2010-07-01T11:06:00.000-07:00

When I was very young, at my grandma's house there were adults, adults, adults. I was surrounded by grown ups whose conversations were things I didn't understand because they were over my head figuratively and literally. I was lifted onto each aunt's, uncle's, and grandparent's lap throughout the day, not at all attention stared, nearly the opposite. I was the only grandchild - the sole recipient of people seeking a dose of cuteness, the only one they would teach to say catch phrases or buy random presents for.

I recall one visit to Cincinnati. I must have been 2, maybe 3. At some point, I guess I had wet myself because I remember my mom scrounging around suitcases, trying to find another set of clothes until my things were finished in Grandma's dryer. Somehow, and I really don't understand why this happened, the only thing for me to cover up with was my Great Aunt Marian's red lacy underwear. The women safety pinned them to the point that they'd stay on me. I had never seen underwear like that before. I remember everyone giggling, and since the majority of the crowd was in their early twenties, I can understand why they may have picked out that spare outfit anyway.

It was the early 80's, and a song that my grandparents danced to at one of their square dancing events was Elvira. In the livingroom with an audience lining the walls, my grandpa taught me some line dancing steps, some backward forward step and kick move. laughing ensued from the crowd and, oh, I enjoyed an appreciative audience. And so I kicked my; little foot as high as I could and sang along to the Eyll-vi-rah!! And this is why years later when I pass by red lacy underwear while heading to the diaper aisle, in my head, I sing giddy-up-a-oom-bapa-oom-bapa-mow-mow..

Legacy: Where were you born? What were you told about your birth?

2010-07-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

I was born in Athens, Ohio. It was my actual due date, May 6th. My parents were college students at Ohio University, on the swim team, and newlyweds. They lived in a college apartment without much furniture - a crib and maybe some beanbag chairs or something like that.

I know that the day I was born, the nurses were on strike. Because of this, my mom was in labor longer than she should have been. She was so young, without the experience of close girlfriends who would have already filled her in on all the details. Apparently she stayed in bed the whole time instead of walking around like the nurses would have told her to do. She told me about this when I was carrying my first baby, hoping that the advice would come in useful, but I had an epidural and couldn't have walked around if I wanted to.

My grandparents drove across the state to meet me. I hardly had any hair. That's about the extent of what I know. When I was born, it was one of the few times in my life I was punctual, I had already been on a swim team, and the nurses were on strike.

(Alright, so this prompt didn't make me write anything too wonderful, but maybe next time.)

Changing Perspective

2010-07-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

For fun, we were asked to write a story from the perspective of random objects. Each person was assigned a subject. Mine was toilet paper...

I was jammed between my friends, enjoying a quiet moment of rest, squished yet cozy in the dark, going along for a car ride. When the car stops and the trunk opens, it's still dark and quiet. Music has been turned down and there's a quiet rustling. My friend leaves and I'm just sitting there waiting. Then I am lifted, and I'm starting to be unwound just as I anticipated.

But , I feel myself rushing up. I've been let go. My layers unraveling faster than they should, and I feel poked and tangled, trapped on dewy twigs. I'm only half left.

Again, only higher, I am hurled, tying into branches among the remains of my once composed and neat friends. I am spread out more than I was intended to be. I am on display and embarrassed for instead of being discreet, I am spread wide and being shown.
The sun peaks over the horizon, and I know what is about to happen. I know that I am about to be discovered. Should I just go with it and reflect the light? Or should I droop and hide among the branches?

Recipe for Sadness

2010-07-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

one clear, warm ocean with
an abundance of sealife

Combine with white clean sand,
breezes, and sunshine.
a sprinkling of a beach vacation, just as soul-quenching as you imagined.

Cover with Horizon.

This was a brief assignment given during a presentation by Adrian Matejka, a poet who has recently published the book Mixology and will soon publish a poetic narrative about boxer Jack Johnson.

2010-07-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

One year ago, my parents took the family to Destin Beach for a week's vacation. TO say that Destin has soft white sand and clear blue water sounds cliche, but it's absolutely true. We'd head out to the beach in the morning, set up an umbrella and let the babies' feet sink into the warm, clean sand.

Owen would swim out chest deep and ride waves all the way bak tot he shore on a boogtie board. My dad spent his morning snorkeling as if her were swimming laps up and down the coast line. I swam too, and I'm the not the type who likes wimming with fish or plants or crabs. It gives me the willies to go into a pond where you can't see what might brush against you. But in Destin, the water is so clean, you could see. All the way to the bottom.

All day, every day, a significant amount of our time was spent listening to gentle waves, playing in the sand, and swimming, swimming, swimming. We took a few day trips. Tim, Dad, Devon, and Ashley went deep sea fishing and brought back plenty for dinner. Tim and I took Owen on a dolphin cruise where we got to see about four pods, one of which had two adults and three babies, just like us.

You know how at the end of most vacations, you're ready to go home? Well, we weren't. We planned to come back soon though, maybe in a couple of years. Tim and I had met in Destin one spring break, we'd honeymooned there, and now we'd brought our three children. We were anticipating taking them back as soon as we could, but one year later to the day...

(here should be a video of oil on Destin Beach and a little girl who's crying because she can't get it off of her foot. Working on getting blogger to post it.)

And this is just the beginning. Day one on Destin Beach. The impact will last for years, even decades.

Not to go all dolphins and rainbows here, but start around 6 minutes:
(Another video. You can see it at www.bpoilslick.blogspot.com)

Sadie's Picture

2010-06-15T20:28:00.001-07:00

My Little Jane,

Oh I love you. I swear sometimes it's like I'm raising myself. If it weren't for your blue eyes, I might get your baby pictures confused with my own. Your flippy pigtails and adorability, it's just all so natural to you. It comes so easy. Your girly mannerisms. Your ruffly goodness. When you're just waiting in the line with your brothers and notice a bar that is the perfect height to hang on, it's all so present even when you aren't paying it any attention.

There will be times when it doesn't seem like this prettiness will come so easily. There will be times when you're not so sure and won't feel like you're radiating joy the way you do in this picture. But Sadie, this picture is you. You are knowing and enjoyable and so completely lovable. Know that even when you don't know it.

Always your fan,
Mom

P.S. I love your shoes. I'm glad you picked them out.

In response to an assignment

2010-06-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

On the first day of the National Writing Project institute, we were asked to think about our favorite moments as writers and explain those experiences as narratives. I wrote about my experiences keeping a personal journal in college. Here's my response:

Unnerved. At a time when I was wounded and out of place, there was no sense of security in being around other people, calling home, or asking for advice. There was no relieve in the things I was raised to believe in. I felt like such a fool, and I needed to bring myself out of desparation. And so, I fell back on a practice that I ad truned to since I was twelve. I needed to write. I used to just go through the motions - writing down someone else's words, like lyrics to a song or copying out of a book, and sometimes still do. But I had experienced the writing-out of feelings now and was compelled to allow myself another self-indulgent session.

Out in the woods on a nearly vacant trail, only another jogger every ten minutes or so. I'd gone for a run and stopped in the middle. I sat on a rock. I breathed and let the trees soak into me. I closed my eyes to feel the spots of sun blinking through the leaves like whispers to my soul. Then a jumble thoughts would flow through me and right out the top of my head, most of them unclear - that scattered uncertainty of unrequited love and wishfulness. And then one thought would come, and I'd know it was brilliant. Before I forgot it, I'd scribble it down as quickly as I could on a piece of paper I had folded into quarters and tucked into my waistband. It was as if I was watching myself from a distance yet could not me any more in the moment as myself: the slowness of writing not keeping up with what I wanted to say, that slowness shaping my next thought into somehting more clear and poignant than my original idea. Such release and feeling of being real and knowing who I was. Ending when I was exhausted or it just felt like I'd reached the perfect concluding line. I'd read what had spewed out of me and be so pleased with myself. Feeling centered and proud and like someone ought to be there to see me like this, all figured out.

It is those moments of writing which make it important to me, which inspire me to want to ensure that the ability to ground yourself is available to everyone: the young, the underprivileged, the forgotten. The self-serving, the bullying, the greedy. For better than any prayer with a thousand meaningless "Oh Lords", writing can help you see through the clouds of life. It helps you define values, see situations from broader perspectives, calms and draws conclusions. It is that communication with yourself that I learned to cherish. It is because writing has the abilityto search and affirm. And also to preserve, so that when you need to, you can read over again that moment of clarity to reconnect with the self you intended to be.

National Writing Project

2010-06-14T12:14:00.000-07:00

This summer I'm taking part in the inaugural institute of the River Bend National Writing Project at USI. It's a professional development program for teachers focused on improving literacy skills, and I'm hoping that it will lead to productive professional opportunities for me in the future. You can read more about it at www.usi.edu/riverbend.

A part of the institute is centered around teachers developing themselves as writers. We've been given a few direct assignments, but are mainly encouraged to find our own "projects" to work on. I don't have access to a classroom in which I can do research, and I don't have an idea (yet) for a novel like many of the other participants. I do have this blog, though, and one of the books that has been lying on my shelf for a long time is called Legacy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Writing Personal History by Linda Spence. That's exactly what it is. There are hundreds of simple prompts that ask you to turn your life into stories.

Originally, I had bought this book to give to my grandma because I wanted to know more about her childhood, but that didn't end up working out. And now, I'm thinking about my kids, wondering if maybe they'll ever want to have a personal link to a tiny piece of history.

I don't have too many followers of my blog, but for those of you who do read my response to these prompts, please comment and let me know what you think. If you were there in those moments and remember them differently, fill me in. Also, I'm hoping that some of these might inspire you to tell your own stories. Even if you don't think of yourself as a great writer, there are people who want to hear what you have to say.

Little Man Blake

2010-06-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

In early May, we were putting the finishing touches on packing for our trip to Chattanooga, Tennessee. Yeah, I heard the babies awake in their cribs, but no one was crying, so I let them stay there while I finished getting ready. I came upstairs for the last time to go wake them up, and who should greet me but Mr. Blake - who had stripped down to a diaper - marching with purpose passed the staircase where I was standing. That boy had climbed out of his crib and opened his bedroom door. He glanced at me, said "Hi," and waved, but he didn't slow down. He turned and walked into the kitchen, opened the dishwasher, pulled out the top shelf and got a cup. I just stood there in shock and watched him. He held the cup up to the fridge and got some water. Took a drink. Got more water. Spilled it. I promise you, he shrugged his shoulders, got a towel off the edge of the counter and wiped it up.

Blake and Sadie are my babies. I don't like when people call their kids babies after they are way passed the baby phase, but honestly, my babies are babies. Toddlers at most. To see him unexpectedly whiz through a complicated series of tasks like that - and to do it with such nonchalance! - well it makes me think I've been mothering blindfolded.

It made me laugh to see him act like such a mini-man. (Although, I know of at least one man who wouldn't have bothered to wipe up his spill. Hee hee) It made me breathe a sigh of relief, like maybe I should start expecting more out of him. Maybe I should expect him to use more words instead of constantly trying to guess what he wants. Maybe I should expect him to follow more directions. Blake can be oblivious to the world around him when he is focused on something that catches his attention, but I think he also has a greater ability to calculate situations than I used to give him credit for.

2010-05-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

So, way back in January, we decided that we should look for a new house. We seemed to be outgrowing ours little by little, and had enough money in savings to afford a bigger, more "what we always wanted" kind of place. We looked and looked and found some that were close but none that were perfect. The complexities of house hunting are nerve racking. One would have 4 bedrooms but not enough family space. Another would have a great fenced-in backyard but be in a neighborhood we didn't really like. We have now looked at over 50 houses.

On April 28th, with the tax credit deadline upon us, we had all but given up. We decided to take our house off of the market and just hang tight until we either had a little more money to spend or the right house fell into our laps. But we got a call that night from someone who saw the sign in our front yard, they came to see the house at 8 in the morning, and offered to buy it by 4:30 that afternoon.

At that point, we had sold our house and have to move out by June 25th, but we had no place to live. There was not a house on the market that would be the right fit for us. We knew that the "right fit" house exists since we'd let two of them slip through our fingers early in the house hunting game. And so we were torn. We looked for rental homes, apartments, thought about moving to Ohio.

And then, we went to see a for sale by owner house that we had seen months before. At the time, we loved it, but felt it was simply out of our price range, especially for a 3 bedroom. However, some magic fairy dust was blown our way. The price had dropped, and upon seeing this place the second time, we fell in love with it.

Today we went to the bank to sign another round of papers. We're closing on Thursday and getting the keys to our new place. It's a place that has been so loved, even from its planning phases. The father of the woman we are buying it from planned the subdivision and hand built the grand curved banister that welcomes you in the entryway. The couple created the plans and ensured that every inch was cared for for the last 24 years. They've moved closer to her parents to help care for them as they age and are understandably emotional over the decision to move. I cannot imagine. We get the sense that it is some relief to them knowing that there are 3 new beautiful children who will have the chance to grow up in that house, who will get to run down that hill in the backyard and play in those bedrooms. The home has such a feeling of love and happiness running through it. We intend to keep it that way.

A Good Sneak

2010-03-06T17:09:00.000-08:00

Owen has this new habit of trying to make a "good sneak" whenever he knows there's something he's supposed to do. It's fun to be sneaky, but he has tried to do things like sneak outside without permission or sneak into the snack bin and the results were less than favorable for him. So, we told him that it's still fun to sneak for good stuff that he knows he won't get in trouble over. It worked. It worked very well. Almost too well.

Owen sneaks into his clothes in the morning, coming downstairs fully dressed in long sleeved shirts, shorts, and argyle socks. He sneaks into the van when I'm getting everything loaded up, which would be great if he didn't leave the door open, allowing babies in bare socks to run out in to the muddy yard before I can catch them. He sneaks into the tub after dinner, claiming his spot near the faucet before the twins get carried down.

But his favorite sneak, the one he tries every night, is the sneak after bath, into his room, into his pj's. Usually, I'll be checking facebook or doing dishes, and I'll hear a little giggle on the stairs. I'll turn around and see a naked booty crawling under his towel/invisibility cloak back to his room. He loves this sneak, and I think I know why. He tries to pull it off before he gets his hair and body washed. Getting to play in the tub without the nuisance of having to get clean is a win-win in his book. A lot of the time, I just let him get away with it too.

If he sees that I've seen him sneaking, he gets so disappointed. Most of time, he burst into tears. "I was trying to do a good sneak! You ruined my sneak!" So I have learned not to turn my head to creaking noises in the hallway. After 10 minutes or so of playing Transformers in his birthday suit, he'll come out all pj-ed up and ready for bed, saying, "Mom, guess what? I did a good sneak!!! Aren't you proud of me?"

Yes, buddy. I am.

Owenisms #5

2010-03-06T17:08:00.001-08:00

On Monday nights, when I teach ENG 201 out at USI, Tim and the kids have pizza night. When the pizza guy showed up and dinner was served, Owen told Tim, "This pizza sets me free!"

"Molly, don't go out there. You don't want to get your fleas wet!" Yelled to our cat who does not have fleas, but did run out into the rain as we did our normal 3 trips into the house (one for each baby and one for the stuff)

While we were the only family playing at the Chick-fil-a playground, two little girls came in. Owen was up in the tunnels when the oldest girl (6-ish) asked him where her sister was. Owen was on a mission to find the younger sister (3-ish), and after he did, he went back up the tunnel to inform the big sis. When he came down the slide, he got right up next to me and said very seriously, "Mom, I think I'm starting to like woman." Woman, not women. Oh my.

"Dad, I'm starting to fall in love with Wheely." Wheely is a little Transformer.

On an ordinary day in March, "You deserve a Mother's Day. I'm gonna give you this day for mothers." Nothing else happened that day, but it may have been my favorite day this March.

"Do you know why they call it a pacifier? So that if you were in a burning building, your mouth wouldn't get burnt when you were getting out."

My Little Helper

2010-01-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

My little Sadie Jane is becoming more and more aware of how everything works. She is progressing with language. She in the last few weeks, she's learned to say cat, dog, wha dis?, dat?, diapa, ball, more, head, shhh, buh (book), and blah (Blake). She can do signs for elephant, alligator, and hat, which are all useful, everyday words...right?

Beyond that she is catching on to processes. If I say it's time to eat, she and Blake head to the stairs and crawl up. Sadie has realized that big people don't crawl up the stairs though, and so she likes to try to stand when I get distracted. I can tell the babies to get their trays, and they totter over together to the sink or dishwasher to get a tray and totter it back over to their seats.

If I say it's time for night night, on her own, Sadie gathers her blankies and a paci and either heads to her room or runs from me depending on if she wants to go to sleep or not.

If I say it's time to go, Sadie collects everyone's shoes. She takes Owen's shoes to him, multiple times (cuts down on me having to nag him to "put them on already!"), takes Blake's and my shoes to me, and has even gotten her own shoe on a handful of times.

She likes to pitch in and help put toys in bins. Although as soon as I turn around, they get them all back out again. She'll bring me diapers for Blake, and hands me wipes like a little scrub nurse.

This afternoon, Owen was playing around pretending to be a baby. He found one of Sadie's pacifiers, crawled up the stairs, and sat in one of the baby's seats. Without missing a beat, Sadie just pretended like she was a big girl. She got him a tray, a baby spoon, took the paci off of his tray and laid it on the table. Then she tried to climb into his normal seat, but couldn't quite make it. Owen thought it was hilarious.

This is such a fun stage!!

Owen's Letter to Santa

2009-12-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

Owen dictated his Santa letter to me this year. I typed it up, read it back, and Owen made a few changes. Then, we took the letter to see Santa in the mall. Santa read the whole thing and talked to Owen for a little while about it.

Dear Santa,

This is Owen Wade Metzger. I was so good that maybe you could get me the presents I want. This year, I was good of sharing my pancakes with Sadie. Also last time I was helpful of putting the Christmas decorations on the Christmas tree. I know how to put dishes in the dishwasher and put stuff that's not posed to be out in the trash. I take turns with my friends really good. I try to do a good job listening at home and at swim lessons and sometimes Taekwondo. I can say the Pledge of Allegiance. And I already got a suprise from Grandma Liles, the Santa Buddies movie.

And Santa, can you bring me some Bakugans when you're on the way to give people some presents? Please do you know what presents I want? Do you know what Christmas is all about? It's about giving presents to somebody. And Santa, can you give me an outside pretend boat? It's a pirate boat, and you can sit in it. I saw it on a magazine.

Santa, I love you. I like how you say Ho Ho Ho. How do you get down the chimney? And guess what. I know some jokes. What did the ghosts give the monkeys to eat?...BOOnanas! Hahaha!

I want a couple of stuff. Maybe you don't know. There's a kind of one square Bakugan that I want. And a new book about Christmas. Maybe it would cost a lot of money. Maybe something like a checkers game that Daddy can know how they move.

Santa, could you bring me something that I really like that I don't have on my list, and can you try to know what they are? I think there is some presents I really like...and will be kind of fun to play with.

My brother Blake wants a stuffed dog and a blue bouncy ball. He likes your suit a lot. My sister Sadie wants a pink bunny and a bouncy ball and a girl toolbox set because Blake already has one.

Whenever it's Christmas, check my list twice. I'm gonna leave you some cookies, stocking ones. Have a safe trip. Buckle your seatbelt.

Love, Owen

Thanksgiving

2009-12-17T18:18:00.001-08:00

This year, for Thanksgiving we went to Ohio and had dinner in Cincinnati on Thanksgiving Day. We've gone to Ohio to visit my family for Thanksgiving every year since we've been married, and I thank Tim for conceding this holiday to me. Thanksgiving with my side. Easter with his side. Here are some other things I am thankful for this year in no particular order (except for the first one):

1. Of course, my children. They are incredible kids, and my world would be a shade of dim without them.

2. We have enough. We are not living high on the hill and money gets tight, but when it comes down to it, we have what we need. And in an economical year like this one, I appreciate that on a new level.

3. The play yard gate. This massive baby gate is our saving grace on most days. We have half of the basement baby proofed and stocked with toys. I still have to be on my toes, but it is a million times easier with that gate.

4. My parents who have been so supportive in many ways this year.

5. Facebook. I know it seems silly, but for me staying home would have been very isolating without a way to interact with friends and family as the chaos allows.

6. Tim. He is a great friend, dad, and partner.

7. Digital camera. So glad that I can take 50 thousand pictures in order to get one keeper. It's nice to be able to document this time so easily.

Horrible Parenting Gone Wild

2009-12-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

So a while back, I fell asleep watching The Daily Show. In the middle of the night, Owen got up to go to the bathroom and decided to check and see if I was home from teaching class. I had been through a long day and was completely exhausted, so I didn't even notice that he was laying over me.

Meanwhile, Tim had heard Owen get up, but never heard him go back to bed, so thankfully he got up to search the house for the little guy. I woke up to, "Jess! What are you doing!?" Dazed and confused, I found Owen, mouth agape, staring at a commercial for Girls Gone Wild. I was horrified! I don't even let him watch superhero cartoons, and here he was getting quite the eyeful of drunken idiots. I rummaged for the remote as fast as I could and turned the stupid thing off, but you just can't make a kid un-see things. Tim said Owen must have been downstairs for 5 minutes. We asked Owen what he saw, and he said that the people were acting bad. We agreed with him and asked him if he should have watched. He got embarrassed. He knew he shouldn't have, although I don't know of any kids who wouldn't watch at all. The new rule in our house for parents is set the sleep timer on the TV. For kids, if it's bad, turn it off.

Halloween

2009-12-16T22:33:00.001-08:00

Cute little monsters aren't they?

This Halloween we went to the Yates house for dinner and trick or treating. They have become our friends over this last year. We met when Sam and Owen were in preschool together. Terri and I had the babies less than a month apart and took turns walking the big boys into school. The boys became great buds, we had some play dates, and now we've got real family friends of our very own.

Trick or treating with them was so much better than just going it on our own. I remember going as a group when I was little, all the neighborhood kids in a big bunch. It was a blast back then, and thanks to the Yates, this year was just like that. Terri invited a bunch of friends from preschool (even though Owen doesn't go there anymore, he still likes to see those guys), we had chili and hot dogs, acted silly and LOUD, and eventually made it out the door for some candy...except most of the houses were either not participating or had the bowl on the front step. The adults were all a little disappointed in this, but the kids could have cared less, and we had enough candy anyway. Blake fell asleep about 3 minutes in. Sadie stayed awake, but barely. Can't wait until next year!We tried to get everyone in a picture, but they were too excited to sit still. Here's my best shot out of like 20. Owen went as Spiderman this year, it's not my first pick because I feel like he's a little too young for all that kind of stuff, but I guess I'm wrong. He did look pretty cute in his little muscle man suit.

The kids were so done with taking pictures. Here's about half of the crew. Owen was so excited about his light up shoes because it was the first time he got to wear them at night, and it was the first pair I've ever let him get. I'm a basic style shoe kind of person, so Owen just got lucky that we only had 10 minutes until the store closed the last time we were at Stride Rite Outlet.

Good dads taking turns with the strollers. Two out of three were asleep. The boys were so excited they literally walked INTO a couple of houses when the people opened their doors. All of us parents were yelling from behind the strollers, "Get back! Take turns! Calm down!" which was kind of a lost cause. Speaking of which, the last house we went to was back to the Yates's, but a real live witch had snuck in to try to scare little boys. Didn't work, but it was fun.

Throughout October since Owen's not in school and we were in need of some quiet activities while the babies were sleeping, we made a haunted house. We worked on different parts each day like salt dough ghosts, pumpkin pie dough pumpkins, paper bag trees, and diaper box house. Nice to spend some time being creative with my little buddy.

Blake and Sadie's First Birthday

2009-12-16T21:58:00.001-08:00

Okay, well, yes, their birthday was in September, but I got behind on the blog. Eh, whatcha gonna do? So, back in September, we had the twins' first birthday party which was a lot like Owen's first party. We had family over, and I cooked: ham, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Again, I probably went a little overboard, but honestly I really enjoy it. It was Yo Gabba Gabba themed because they dance around to the music on that show, and it worked out pretty well for a girl and a boy. I made t-shirts, decorations, and gabba-fied the presents. I think having decorations and little details makes the day feel out of the ordinary and special. I'm not Martha Stewart. I don't sacrifice enjoying myself in order to have everything perfect - just special. I'd probably even do it more often, but our house had a hard time accommodating even our little birthday crowd. It's not like the babies cared this year, but I love knowing that one day they'll have fun pictures to look back on. This first year with Blake and Sadie has been...a challenge...a test...a blessing. I love them so much. They've added so much to our family. One of the big presents from Mommy and Daddy was this teeter totter. I thought it was such a great idea for twins. It turned out I was right because they play on it everyday, but they also fall off of it everyday too. Maybe I should have waited a while on this one. We did cake outside to spread out the crowd, and hey, our house is carpeted. Owen was so excited to help. I think he really got into the idea of doing something special for someone else. He likes the role of big brother and felt just as special as he would have if it were his birthday.

Sadie didn't care much for the cake or ice cream (guess she's more of a chocolate girl like me). Blake, however, LOVED the ice cream. He didn't feel like waiting for Tim to give him a bite with the spoon. Just shove it all in, right?
Ha ha, glad Tim was the one holding Blake. I got the neat one this time.

Owenisms #4

2009-12-13T18:30:00.000-08:00

While playing Bakugans, Tim said, "I'm pretending there are no bad guys." Owen looked at him, annoyed, "No Dad. You mean you're not pretending."

"I made up a joke. How do strawberries walk?...Somebody carries them."

Joke. "Why does the guy on a rope carry two things in each hand? Because that way he's balanced!" More of a fact than a joke really. Other fact "jokes". "Why are we sitting at the table? To eat!" "Why does a penguin walk funny? Because his legs are short."

I said the word butt. Owen shook his head at me. "Mom, you just said a bad word, and Santa probably heard you, so now you're not going to get anything for Christmas."

Owen LOVES to play Connect 4 - a lot! (Please Santa, bring him some new games already.) At Thanksgiving in Cincinnati, he was playing with my 21-year-old cousin, Ben, a really smart guy. Owen won two rounds and said, "Didn't cha ever play before?" He wasn't being snotty, just genuinely asking. Ben said that the last time he played was when he was little. Owen felt so sorry for him and goes, "Oh, but you never won?"

Speaking of Connect 4, Tim won a game against Owen and started doing a dance around the room. Owen was so disappointed in his Dad's behavior. He goes, "Dad, that's bragging. Bragging is when you cheer for yourself too much. It's not being a good sport." Good lesson Owen. But, by the way, Tim doesn't always win and we don't usually just let Owen win unless we're just trying to finish up so we can do something else with our lives. Owen has just gotten pretty good at the game and honestly wins just about as much as we do!

Yesterday he was pretending that our entire house was driving to the North Pole so that we could visit with Santa and the elves. He'd say, "Did you feel that bump?" According to him, the trip would take 25 hours and we would not be required to work in the workshop, just visit. I think he got this idea from a combo of Disney's Up and various Christmas movies.

Swim Lessons

2009-11-19T20:07:00.000-08:00

I love having Owen in swim lessons. It's great exercise, it feels good, and he really excels at it! He's four. The other kids in his class are 6, 7, 8, and 10. He swims more than 10 laps at each lesson now. I don't want to push him to hard, but I get so excited to see him swimming so well. Around here, we have a really good youth team, and I would be so happy for him if it ended up working out to be something he liked and was good at. I really want him to find a sport or sports to play as he grows up. Athletics keep you busy, focused, and out of trouble in those teen years. Owen doesn't isn't a naturally fast runner or great at controlling a ball. (I get that he's really young and can learn these things.) But, Owen is naturally a good swimmer. I am so proud of him.

Jake and the School

2009-11-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

Tonight, instead of reading a bedtime story, Owen made one up. How fun! I typed while he dictated. Then I read it back to him, and he made a few revisions. Enjoy!

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Jake. He was ver good at school. And he listened every time. And of course, he always getted his chart filled up and gets in the treasure box of being a good boy. So one day, he saw something that he really wanted, and it was a Bakugon. And he had two friends, and their names were Owen and Sam. And they asked if they could play with the Bakugons, and Jake let them. And there were three of them (Bakugons). And that's the end of the story happily ever after. "

Teeball

2009-11-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

This fall since we weren't in preschool, we found some other activities to keep us busy. Monday night is tee-ball, Tuesday is Taekwando, Wednesday is swimming.

We signed up for Teeball because we had friends from Castle Country Preschool that were going to play teeball too. Sam, Ben, Owen, Owen, and Drew were quite the crew. They were very squirmy and silly, but they're 4, and that's how 4-year-olds act when they're excited. We quickly realized that Owen needed a glove for a left-hander. The first night, he looked like such a spaz because he couldn't throw the ball with his right hand. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a teeball glove for a lefty? Impossible unless you are willing to spend $40 at the sporting goods store. I found one on ebay, but it was way too big. Didn't matter much anyway because Owen had no concept of what he was supposed to do with it anyway. This wasn't his fault; it was just the way it was set up. Preschool teeball was like herding cats.

Owen and Sam - Best buds!Really involved in the game. This reminds me so much of Devon when he was little. He and his friends used to do cartwheels and throw dirt the whole game much to the amusement of their older siblings. Owen would have fit right in with that team. Just to give you an idea, when he was playing first base and the first batter hit the ball, Owen dropped his glove and ran to second - um, wrong team buddy. When the second player hit the ball and the dad standing there told Owen to get the ball, he ran after it and kicked it like a soccer ball back to the base. He was moved to outfield shortly thereafter.
Being on the batting team was no better. He got first through third just fine, but everytime (and I mean EVERY time) he was supposed to run home, he ran to the dugout. Most of the time it was the OTHER TEAM'S dugout! The great thing about it was, it was just for fun. No one kept score or even got "out". Which is great for this age since they're too young to understand the game anyway. He is so proud of his "first gold medal!" He keeps it safe in his pajama drawer.Every week after tee-ball we went to Pizza Hut because there was hardly anyone was there. The boys were always so wound up and goofy by then, it was nice to have a place to ourselves where they could be squirmy and giggly. We had a great season!

Imagination

2009-11-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

Today, Owen was playing downstairs and came up with a new game. He pushed the climber over so that there was an area of the corner you could only get to by going through the climber. Then, using his toy claw, he was picking up baby toys and handing them to the babies. When I asked what he was doing, he explained that the toys were floating down the river and he had to rescue them for Blake. See, the toys belonged to Blake's baby brother, and his baby was crying so much that it was hurting Blake's ears. Mirroring reality. (The hurt ears, not the toys in the river.)

The dresses

2009-11-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

I have sewn quilts and other things, but I have never followed a pattern except when I was younger, making clothes with my Grandma Gard. Back then, I thought it was so complicated, although I loved spending the time with her. I avoided patterns when I started teaching myself to quilt, because I thought they would be too difficult. But now I decided to challenge myself, and bought a couple of little girl dress patterns on sale. I've been inspired to try it after looking at the clothes on Etsy.com which are adorable, but cost way to much. I made these dresses for about $15 a piece, and for being my first attempts, I'm pretty proud of them. Although, I have to say that I have no idea how to sew in a zipper nicely. They are functional and that's about it right now. If anyone can help me, I'd appreciate the lesson. Now, if only I can get my model to hold still while I take pictures.

My first and favorite of the two. It took me about 8 hours to figure out how to follow a pattern and make a few mistakes learning how to do things like ruffles and the gathering around the sleeves. I figure for a first try, 8 hours wasn't too bad, start to finish. I just did it while watching TV after the kids went to bed for a few nights. It ended up being too big, so I can't wait for her to wear it in the spring. My second one plus the sweater I found at Children's Place. This one took about a week of TV nights, but only about 6 hours of work. I'm getting faster. I think it just took so long, because I'm still learning the basic concepts of how to get everything to line up just right. The flowers in her hair and on her waist were from my friend Megan's blog tutorial. There is gathering at the top of the neck and above the waist band that is one of my favorite things about this pattern, but I think with the busy fabric it doesn't show up well enough. Also, my model was VERY SQUIRMY and running all over the place, so I never got a good shot of it anyway. By the time I got to this picture, she had pulled her bow halfway out and gotten quite the snotty nose, but I think she still looks precious. :)

In the Van

2009-11-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

Funny thing happened yesterday in the van. The twins had bottles, but Sadie dropped hers. At a stop light, Owen starts laughing and telling me to look at Blake. Blake was holding his bottle out to Sadie, and when she'd reach for it, he'd put it back in his lap and laugh, laugh, laugh. Thankfully, she was giggling about it too. Let the sibling teasing begin!

Emerging Language

2009-11-08T14:59:00.000-08:00

This is a really fun time with the twins because they are beginning to do less (just a LITTLE less) screaming and trying to communicate in other ways. Their babbling across the tops of the cribs is starting to sound more and more like English word patterns, and I don't think there are many other sounds quite as sweet.

Signs: I've tried to work on signs. I don't know if I haven't been consistent enough or if I give in too early when they want "more" of something, handing it over before they actually complete the sign. I'm sure they're smart enough to learn them, but we haven't made too much progress. They sign for "all done." Occasionally I'll see someone sign "more." Of course they wave bye bye and blow kisses. That's about it though.

Songs: We've been singing and doing hand motions to lots of songs lately. They are most competent with "Twinkle Twinkle". Both of them do some of the motions even when I'm not right there doing it with them, like say I'm doing dishes while I sing with them in their highchairs. We've been working on "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes", "Wheels on the Bus", and "Happy and You Know It". They do some of the motions in each, which is great. Then, Sadie dug through quite a few bins and baskets Friday and came across Owen's old favorite, Laurie Berkner Band DVD. The twins have LOVED watching this in the van, and get their little grooves on in their car seats. The best part of kiddie music is watching them dance their little boppy baby dances. I have been trying and trying to get it on video, but getting out the camera always seems to ruin the moment. I'll keep trying and hopefully get it posted soon.

Books: I cannot sit down without a book being handed to me and a little bottom plopping into my lap. It's great! It's also a little tiring to read about the bunny's fluffy tail for the eighty-fourth time each day. But now they both know how to do an elephant sound, a duck sound (ack ack), and monkey (ooh ooh ah ah ah ah ah).

Sadie's words: Sadie says "nie nie" (night night), which means blankie. She calls herself "Didi." Of course there's "Mama" and "Dada", and a couple of times I've heard her say "Bake" clear as day. She also says a knowing or interested, "oooooooh," as in "ooooooh Dada." Hard to explain in text, but it's super cute in person.

Blake's words: Blake is very good at "hi," and says it to a lot of people when we're out and about. He's got "Mama" and "Dada" down. Other than that, there aren't many that he says consistently, but he can clumsily repeat just about any word you say to him. He is a very good copier.

I know this is just the beginning, and I am so excited for each new word to make it into their vocabulary. I remember this stage with Owen was such a blast, and the poor people at school had to be tired of hearing me come in every morning with a new language update. Now, all of you blog readers will be the ones I brag to. :)

Blake's New Skills

2009-11-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

This is going back a month and a half, but the kids have been keeping me on my toes so much lately that by the end of the day, I'm ready to zone out for a while and go to sleep. I keep thinking, I'll write the blog tomorrow. But the next day I feel the same way, and so on. So what's been the big change? A lot of it is Blake. Here are the things he has learned to do recently:

-Escape from the baby gate that we have separating the baby-safe area from the rest of the house. He can escape by wriggling it out from behind the chair and wall, squeezing through between the couch and pillar, and has managed to army crawl underneath it.

-Climb onto (and over) the couch

-Take off his pants and diaper

-Become Poo-caso (several times)

-Stand up in the tub and pee on his sister while doing an evil villain laugh.

- Take outlet covers off (3 different brands)

-Climb onto the ottoman and the Little Tikes teeter totter that I used to keep up there when it wasn't in use

- Open doors

- Reach things like table runners and pull on them to get everything to crash.

- Use bath toys to dump water out of the tub

-Steal his sister paci because it makes her scream, and he thinks that's hilarious

There is no time to look away while Blake is awake right now. He has this sense about what could be dangerous or maddening and the impulse to do it. But, things have been getting better. He is learning what "no" means, and you can bet he gets lots of hugs and tickles whenever he turns away from whatever it is I caught him trying.

He has also learned to hug, which is SOOO sweet. The first time, I was changing Sadie's diaper, He came up behind me, laid his head on my back, and said "Ahhh" as he patted my shoulder. TOO sweet. He tries to hug Sadie but ususally knocks her over, so that hasn't worked as well. He certainly is a handful, but he has the biggest heart. :)

My Blankie Girl

2009-11-03T22:55:00.000-08:00

Before I had kids, I melted at the sight of a sweet little toddler (Can you believe my babies are toddlers now?) dragging around a lovey blankie. It just made me want to scoop them up and kiss 'em.

When Owen was a toddler, I kept hoping in a little way that he'd become attached to blankie or stuffed animal. E.E., the monkey, is the closest thing to a lovey he has. Although, he could mostly do without it, and he doesn't care which E.E. (we have two) is with him for things like trips to grandma's house and to get shots.

Blake doesn't go for that sort of thing either. He's mostly drawn to things in the shape of sticks like plastic golf clubs and baseball bats, brooms, and the stick we use as a lock on the sliding glass door.

But with Sadie, well, I got what I wished for. (Just like when I was younger and thought it'd be so much fun to have twins. HA!) She currently has two pink blankets that she totes around constantly. Um..maybe wears like a cape is a better description. She holds one corner in each hand, drapes it over her shoulders, and walks around like that for an hour. She pulls it over her head to hide from her brothers. She rides on it down the Little Tikes slide in the basement. She rubs the silky part when she's nervous or sleepy. It comes in handy for things like going to the doctor, being dropped off in the child watch area at the Y, and making a barrier between Sadie and Blake in the Sam's Club shopping carts. Luckily at this point either blankie will do, and you can bet that I'm putting extra blankies at the top of her Santa list.
As much as I always thought it would be so cute to have a blankie-toting baby around, I didn't realize how, in reality, it's kind of a pain. It's annoying remembering to grab it before I head up the stairs for naptime. Or worse, having to go back down stairs and up again because I forgot. It's not fun to listen to her scream all the way home because I won't hand it back to her in the van after she dropped it in a puddle and it got ran over by the stroller. If Blake ever takes the blanket, she attacks him full force, so beware. She cries when I take it away so she can eat. She screams if it's not in her crib. Without it in the morning, there is whining, whining, whining. They need to be washed constantly because they get covered in snot and milk and germs from shopping carts. (I'm being careful this flu season!)

But for as much of a hastle as the blankies are, it's the kind of hastle that makes me feel a little bit lucky for getting the chance to deal with it. In the same way it's a hastle to wash sticky finger prints off the walls or pick up countless toys every night before I go to bed, I'm secretly glad that I get to do it. Doing those kinds of things that makes me feel like a mom. And I get to be Mom to some awesome E.E. snugglin', stick wavin', blankie draggin' kids.

Owenisms #3

2009-10-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

"Did you know that a long time ago there were some people who lived in China, and they could blow more bubbles in their water than monkeys. They have longer breaths than monkeys!"

"Mom, wouldn't you buy this?" (a snow globe)

I said, "No, I'm not ready to buy Christmas decorations yet."

He said, "Um, I think you are, babe." He definitely picks up on the way I talk.

Instead of will you, he keeps saying wouldn't you. It makes him so much harder to resist. "Wouldn't you get me some cheese and crackers?" "Wouldn't you let me sleep with you?" "Wouldn't you miss me while I'm in Taekwando?"

Exaggerating before bath: "You would not believe how stinky I am right now." Sniffs his armpit. "I don't want to tell you this, but I just have to. I smell like rotten corn." Sniffs again. "Seriously, if you come over here, you'll get this stink on you, and you DON'T want that to happen." Waves his hand in front of his nose.

Adding a lot of "Of course". "When I grow up I'm gonna be a doctor, a racecar driver, and ...of COURSE, an astronaut." "Terri makes her chili with little chocolates, marshmellows, and..of COURSE chocolate syrup." "Of course you need to take me to CMOE today." "Of course you can help me clean up my toys."

A new phrase that's cracking me up: "How'd ya like them apples."

Embarassing!

2009-09-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

Today I took my three to the Y to go swimming since they just reopened the pool. We were having a fine time. Owen was swimming around throwing his Spiderman diving sticks. Blake and Sadie found out quickly that the newly painted pool was too slippery to walk on, so Mommy did a lot (I mean a whole lot!) of scooping up babies and moving them to a shallower area. It's funny that it's easier to walk around the deep end holding both of them than it is to try to let them play in the shallow end.

All was fine for 45 minutes, although I know at times I looked like I had too many kids to juggle. I really was fine. Sadie started to throw a fit because she wanted to get out at the side and crawl away, which I wouldn't let her do. It had been a long enough swim, so I told Owen it was time to get out. He was in deeper water and started to whine about leaving. I tried to tell him to swim to me so I could talk to him, but he didn't want to leave his dive stick out there in the middle.

So...He starts to have a temper tantrum while swimming in water above his head. I call out to him to swim to the side first, and when the lifeguard hears me, he jumps into action. I know Owen and his swimming abilities. He can swim a lap independently. He had been getting his dive sticks off of the bottom of 4 1/2 feet of water. He can dolphin kick across the pool. He was not a swimmer in distress. As soon as his face went under, he would have just swam the 3 feet to the side and continued crying about the dive stick. BUT, the lifeguard wasn't listening to me when I said that he wasn't drowning. He jumped in. Almost on top of a little boy with significant disabilities and his adults.

Having been a lifeguard for 10 years, it is embarassing to me that someone jumped in to rescue my son. It's embarassing that the lifeguard must have been looking at me like some mother who didn't know enough about water safety to keep her kids out of danger. As soon as he got to the side (all of 3 seconds later), he cried to the lifeguard that he didn't want to leave his dive stick where someone else would take it. By this time, I had been able to pick it up with my toes and went over to apologize to the guy who no longer had a nice dry shirt to sit in for the rest of his rotation. I also made Owen thank him and apologize for throwing a fit that made the lifeguard think he needed saving. I wonder what will go through that guy's head when we show up again later this week.

Just one more thing. Owen, should he ever read this when he is older, will be mortified, but I was embarassed enough for us both today when it happened. I'm sharing. While changing out of our wet suits, I was in the shower stall area of the family locker room while Owen got dressed on the other side of the baby stroller. I hear, "Look Blake, I can just hang my goggles on my weiner!" And that is exactly what he was demonstrating for his brother. Strange, but not a huge deal. I gave him a "stop that" and a "hurry up" and eventually we made it out of the locker room. The kicker is while passing the front desk, Owen says quite loudly, "My weiner is itching! It's allergic to goggles. You should only hang goggles on your weiner when you're a grown up and not allergic." Yep, we got some looks.

Owenisms Part 2

2009-09-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

While playing I Spy, Owen says, "I spy with my little eye, something that is blowy uppy....your booty!" He was not trying to be funny either. Well, there's some motivation to get to the Y.

"Will the babies talk in Spanish or English?"

While at Target: "Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? I told you 8 times I wanted to go to the toy area." He gives me the same look I give him.

"Owen, we are going to get the other things we need first. If you whine one more time, we won't go to the toy area at all." We continue shopping for 30 seconds.

"Okay, I'm not whining. Since I didn't whine, can we go to the toy area now?"

To anyone who will listen: "Space just keeps going and going." What a conversation starter. This fact absolutely amazes him. He can't get over it.

Anytime he wants to comfort a crying baby: "Awww. It's okay. You're not by yourself."

All day, he sings this song: "Blakey the cakey, cakey penguin!!" I have no idea. There are variations. "Sadie the Janie, lady penguin!!" "Mommy the lommy, lommy penguin!!"

Things I will never get tired of hearing him say even though he says them constantly:
"I just love you, Mom."
"I need a hug."
"I'm so cold." and "Will you warm me up?" both of which mean 'Give me a hug.'
"Can I have some chocolate-milk-so-I-can-drink-the-chocolate-milk-part?"

Sadie's Games

2009-09-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

My baby sure knows how to keep herself entertained. Here are Sadie's top 11 games:
1. Sit on mom's lap. When someone else wants to, throw a fit. When mom has to do something, scream. Pretend like you are not paying attention, but if Mom plays with Blake or Owen, immediately regain your seat on her lap. If anyone tries to share her lap, push them off.
2. Whatever Blake is playing with, take it just to see what he does. When he plays with something else, take that.
3. When you're wet and slippery in the tub, flop on your belly and ride the back side of the tub like a water slide.
4. Squish every goldfish cracker with your thumb before you eat it.
5. Put things on Blake's tray. Take them off. Put things on Blake's tray. Take them off. Put things on Blake's tray. Take them off. Repeat.
6. Dump out your Cheerios. One by one put them back in the bowl. Dump again.
7. Gather shoes. Wear them on your hands and crawl. Set lots of them in your lap. When mom is not looking, chew on them.
8. What ever you're holding, hand it to someone else and say, "Da doo." Expect for it to be handed back and say, "Ada doe." Throw things on the floor and say, "Uh oh."
9. Cover your ears with your hands. Babble in a sing song voice. Uncover, cover, uncover, cover. (This one better not be an ear infection.)
10. Put your finger on people's noses and expect them to either say "Nose" or "Honk". Laugh, laugh, laugh.

11. Find 2-4 toys that make noise or play songs. Keep them all making noise at the same time for as long as you can.

My new path?

2009-09-10T14:57:00.001-07:00

I started teaching Eng 101 at USI. It's just Wednesday nights. I figured it would be an excuse to get out of the house and talk to adults about something other than kids. It gave us a little extra money, and gives me a really nice resume booster. I've only taught two classes, but so far I really like it.

I've been thinking about adjusting the direction of my career basically since I started it. I like teaching, but I've always felt like it wasn't what I was going to do for 30 years. Eight years was enough I think. At least eight years of sixth-grade language arts is enough. I got my master's in educational leadership because I was really feeling a drive to move toward a curriculum advisor type of position. Then with the twins coming along when they did, I've been given the chance to really step back and think about what I want to do. I still haven't figured it out. I know that's crazy. I'm 30. I should have a plan set in stone by now, but I don't. This experiment with Eng 101 is a chance to dip my toes in the professor pool. Maybe?

It's kind of funny though because my old habits are kicking in. During my first class, I had such an urge to walk around the room and glance at my students' papers to make sure they were staying on task. I caught myself four times peeking out the door as if I was on hallway duty or had to check to make sure no foolishness was going on in the bathroom. It's an adjustment, but in a very welcomed way. I have 4 students who are older than me, and it's funny how even their age can make me feel like I'm under-qualified to be a professor. I'm slightly intimidated really, but I know I can do a good job. We'll see.

This and that about Blake

2009-09-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Blake will climb on anything. Toes peeking through the baby gate, on top of toys, his sister, caught him with his chest pulled on top of this crib railing today (it's already been lowered!).

Blake will eat anything. His favorites right now are blueberries by the ton and celery. He also enjoys baby wipes, cardboard, mulch, playground tire "mulch", cat fur, and things that fall out of the dustbuster when he shakes it.

I laugh at Blake every time he squishes up his face and sniffs in and out. He grins through his pucker. It is just about the cutest thing ever.

Blake has a sixth sense about what he should not touch, and he feels driven to touch it. Outlets, glasses of milk on the end table, and DVR buttons are in danger when he's around.

The Tale of Sadie and the $46 Shoes.

2009-09-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

After a chilly, baby-shoeless August (?????) morning at Scales Lake for an outing with the Moms of Multiples group, I decided that my next mission was to buy some shoes for my babies' tootsies. They had outgrown their crib shoes that they hardly wore, and since they are walking now, it was time to buy some comfy shoes they could wear outside and around town.

I went to Stride Rite because I cannot figure out what size shoes to put on babies and wanted to know for sure. There were only two people in the store: a cross looking lady and a kind older man who waved at the babies when we first walked in. Can you guess who I asked to help? Sadie was the first out of the stroller, sized, and put back. She threw such a fuss about being back in her seat that the man told me it was fine to let her cruise around the little store while we took care of Blake. She did, and she knocked quite a few pairs of shoes off the shelves. When he had our measurements and knew what style to look for, he went to the back for quite some time then came back with 10 pairs or so.

This time when he sat down, Sadie went right over to him and put her hands up as if she was asking to be picked up. He was delighted and plopped her on his lap as he put 5 different pairs on her feet, acting all great-grandpa-ish. I didn't really think it was necessary to try on so many shoes because, honestly, I was not planning on actually buying ANY there. Those shoes are not in our budget. The last time I spent that much money on a pair of shoes for myself was a couple of years ago when I bought my tennis shoes I still wear. Babies grow out of shoes too quickly to invest that much in them. I knew I could find some online later; I just needed to know what size. But, she was having such a nice time with all the shoes (they're her thing), and the salesman was enjoying her company, so que sera sera.

A little later, Sadie was still on his lap as we figured out what shoes worked best for Blake. I knew how much the shoes were, but I needed a way out of the situation, so I asked. The man said, "These here are $42, but they're half off." Hmmm. Well, I wasn't going to buy $42 shoes, but for a first pair of good walking shoes, I could rationalize $21. I told him we'd take them.

Right then, Owen announces that he has to poop. Right then. Hurry. It's starting to come out. I'm mortified. We've been working on making these announcements in more subtle ways, but apparently he forgot. We're led to the back room, and when we return the man already has up rung up. The total is nearly $80, and I know that this won't fly with my pocketbook or with Tim. I only wanted to buy Blake's shoes, but how could I say that to the sweet man who spent so much time with us and took such a liking to Sadie? How could I let her be Shoeless Jane leaving that store? So before I paid, I asked if it would be possible to return the shoes if my husband had a problem with how much I spent. He said I could, so I paid for them intending to return them in a couple of days. No harm done.

A couple of days later, I try to return them, and an elderly woman is the only salesperson in the store. She tells me that I can't. I tell her that I can. She tells me that I will only get $21 for them. No, they were the $46 pair. She says, "Yes, but our policy is that when you are returning them, you only get half the price back."

Now, I am not in the habit of fighting old ladies, but I was pretty annoyed. Then the cross woman from before walks in from her lunch break. "She's the manager. She's who you need to talk to." Well, turns out it was a buy one, get one 1/2 off sale. I did not know that. If I did know that, I wouldn't have bought any shoes. I'm certainly not going to return them for half price. There you have it, Sadie finagled $46 shoes. And she LOVES them!

They are pretty cute though!

These are Blake's 1/2 price pair. Oh! Forgot to say, when I got home after the first trip, I got online and bought Sadie 3 pairs on ebay, brand new for a total of $31. All Stride Rite: brown, black, and tennies. So, she actually has 4 pairs that she will outgrow in no time.

My Grandma Liles must be laughing.

2009-09-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

My Grandma Liles, who passed away three years ago, had three children spaced just like mine: a boy who was 3 when boy/girl twins came along. I think about her often while managing day to day life now, and wish for her advice or at least her accounts of what it was like for her. (I know I have the advantage of an easily foldable double stroller and double-seated carts at Sam's Club.)

In my eyes, she was pretty easy going and loved a good joke. Boy did she pull one on me last night. Here and there throughout my life, I have heard the recounting of my Uncle Mike's frozen pea incident. When he was young (I don't remember how young) he shoved quite a few frozen peas up his nose. They couldn't get them out at home, and had to throw the three kids in the car and head for the emergency room. Well, last night, the kids and I were having a casual dinner when I looked over at Blake, Uncle Mike's counterpart, who had a little green ball shoved half way up his left nostril, a hazard of his sniffing habit from my earlier post I guess. My immediate thought? Grandma put him up to this.

I flicked that little booger out pretty easily and considered the crisis averted. I chuckled to myself and went back to dining. But, Blake kept rubbing his nose. He kept squinting his eyes and half gagging. I got a little worried and probably jumped to conclusions based on Mike's story.

Picture me with a flashlight trying to see up Blake's nose in search of lost peas. I'd like to point out that as a rule, I try to stay out of reach of the grubby self-feeding hands of twins because I don't particularly like having squished bits of vegetable soup and scrambled eggs in my hair. Thankfully, there were no more peas. Blake was just shaking it off I guess, like after a good sneeze. I'm sure Grandma had a good laugh just like she probably did when Mike's peas thawed and fell out on their own.

Strange Eaters

2009-08-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Blake and Sadie are trying new foods all the time now, and there are some interesting quirks that have developed.

I would say Sadie is a pretty smart baby. She catches on to a lot of things with no problem. She does have one hang up that she just can't figure out. If you ever try to feed her anything while she still has a pacifier in her mouth, she doesn't know what to do. She brings her hand up to her mouth and hits the pacifier a few times. It really confuses her, but Owen and I think it's funny.

Blake has to smell everything before he puts it in his mouth. It's cute, but weird. Each bite gets a good sniff inspection. They make every messy meal pretty entertaining.

Look Mom, No hands!

2009-08-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

Blake started a funny new habit today. He has decided to fore go the pincer grasp, the full hand grab, and the spoon. No hands is his new way of eating. At breakfast, he licked his peaches off of his tray. This afternoon when he dropped a Cheerio, instead of picking it up, he got down on his belly and did a face plant as he gobbled it up. Same thing at lunch and dinner. Take your mouth to the food instead of lifting the food to your mouth. Weird.

Other new things for Blake? Well, this week I could take it no longer and decided to cut his hair for the first time. He squirmed quite a bit, but eventually we made it through and I think it looks pretty cute. It is at least an improvement from the big swoosh that was going on before. Bless his heart, Blake has some swirly hair growing patterns. The hair in the back is sideways!

Before: Sitting on a stool, crazy hair combed out and ready for a new style.

During: Squirmy, not on the stool, hair all over the bathroom. Photography by big brother.

After: Looking older. He was smiling, just not in any pictures.

See down by his neck? That hair is sideways, and hard to cut!

Finally, tonight we moved his crib down a level after I found him with two feet on the bar for the drop gate, staring over at the floor after nap. He also climbed the baby gate downstairs. He had his little toes wedged in the holes about four inches off the ground. It looked painful, but he was so proud of himself. And, he can almost climb onto the couch when he stands on top of another toy. He's becoming a little daredevil, and I've got the feeling he'll be yelling, "Look Mom, no hands!" quite a bit.

Here he is with the crib in the lowered setting. Don't learn how to climb out of that anytime soon, Buddy!

Owen's 4th Birthday Party

2009-08-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

For Owen's 4th birthday, we went a little overboard as I tend to do anytime there is any special occasion to celebrate with my kids. But you know, Owen really deserved a big party this year. He's had a lot of adjustments (two in particular) this year and handled it all so well. I could not be any more proud! Plus this year we had FRIENDS to invite!

The theme was easy - SPACE! He is nearly obsessed with spaceships, astronauts, and planets. It took us a while to decide on a place since our house is just too small for that kind of a gathering. CMOE (Children's Museum of Evansville) ended up being a great choice. The kids all seemed to have a good time. Owen was on cloud nine. I loved that I got the chance to make him feel so special.

For this party, I searched online for good space ideas. I tried to make a moon cake like the one I found on FamilyFun.com, but it didn't turn out like the picture they showed. When Owen saw it, it was like he was trying to protect my feelings by not saying that it was ugly. He goes, "Is that how it's supposed to look?" I had to laugh. We used it as our "practice" cake and ate it ourselves.

Another idea I got online was to create a space station using odds and ends and some foil covered insulation board. I never would have been able to take on this project if it weren't for my parents coming to stay for the weekend. Mom watched the kids while I duct taped and duct taped and duct taped. It took quite a while to put together, but we had a lot of fun with it for the $11 that it cost us.

Tim had not been hands on for much of the party planning, but when he saw the space station, he got inspired and created this circuit board with a working switch that blinked Owen's birth date. It was pretty cool. (By the way, he didn't plan much of the party because he was busy getting our driveway redone with new concrete! When Owen's friend Sam came over a couple of days later he was so shocked that Owen's dad got him a new "parking lot" for his birthday.)

Here's a picture of Owen with "Tiny", the last Planet Hero that we had to collect. We now have a complete set, which is pretty cool.

In the favor bags was a box of crayons, a mini "Owen's Birthday Bash" coloring book, and a Milky Way. We decorated the Donut Bank cupcakes with toy aliens (not a bad back up plan - thank goodness you only have to order from Donut Bank a day in advance). We had our special order astronaut plates, Alien Goop hand sanitizer, and "Tang".

We had a toy table filled with some of Owen's rocket themed toys. It was such a huge hit, we probably could have done just that and the kids would have been happy.

The party host from CMOE was fabulous. We made a special request that the craft that she provided (as a part of their birthday package) be space themed. She came up with creating rockets out of foil and cardboard tubes. Each kids made one and got to take it home. My dad (in the doorway in the picture above) made a game out of Owen's stomp rocket. A few of the boys hung out with him for most of the party blasting off. After ALL of this, we still got to visit the museum and played until it closed. We had such a great time, and it made it all the better since Owen is the kind of kid that really appreciates it. Can't believe you're 4 little guy because it doesn't seem like that long ago when you were just a baby. On the other hand, I can't believe you're only 4 because you are smart, talented, and perceptive beyond your years. Love you Space Man!

Crazy Jane

2009-08-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

My little comedienne. Is it possible for a 10 month old to have a wry sence of humor? She seems to catch on to things that are ironic. She laughs at herself. She even looks sideways sometimes when she smiles. I think she gets a kick out of stirring up some harmless trouble. It's an aura that I sense about her silly little ways. Perhaps I am only projecting my sense of humor onto her. Whatever it is, she makes me laugh.

All I can do is shake my head and smile at her when she unfolds my laundry to play peek-a-boo. I can tell that she is going to crawl over to Blake and take his toy just to get me to come over and get her. Anytime we sit face to face, she honks my nose over and over, then throws her head back giggling. She leans back on pillows or couch cushions and grins as she takes in the world. She's got this way about her that feels like she understands way more than babies get credit for. She's funny!

Uh Oh!

2009-08-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Last night the twins both learned to say "Uh Oh!" which was pretty cute. Today running errands, they continued to practice and echoes of "Uh Oh!" "Uh Oh! "Uh Oh!" could be heard throughout Evansville. Then, they learned the purpose of Uh Oh which is to say it repeatedly after you purposefully drop any object you are given (or can reach off of a store shelf from your stroller seat) onto the floor. I did enough squats and bends today to count as an actual workout.

On a side note, Owen asked me if I knew the two most special things. I didn't. He claims that they are root beer and hugs. He tells me this with a raised eyebrow and nod. Many a day I could go for a root beer and a hug, so I think he might be right.

Boating with Ryan and Katie

2009-08-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

Captain Ryan, Blake, Owen, and Tim enjoying bobbing up and down on the lake.

Katie, my friend since kindergarten, and her husband Ryan invited the family and me down to Lake Cumberland to go boating with them for a day. Katie is 17 weeks pregnant, and after such a long wait to add children to their family, I could not be happier for them. I'm afraid that their boating days may be numbered next summer, but we found out that it is possible. It's just not relaxing. I wish I had more time to talk to my old friend. With 3 kids and 4 adults, it still seemed like everyone's hands were full at any given moment.

We had a lot of fun even with a few hiccups in our day's plan. I haven't been on many boats like that, so just zooming over the water and enjoying the beautiful scenery was new for me. This is my review of the day:

Thumbs Down: Getting there later than we expected. I don't know why my kids become excessively needy whenever I am trying to get something done. I don't know why Tim becomes totally enthralled with other things whenever I am packing for a trip. I'd like to stop this habit of being late for EVERYTHING, but I don't know how it always seems to happen.
Thumbs Up: Getting to see Katie eventually. I miss spending time with her. Long distance friendships are hard to keep up with, but it's worth the trouble and the phone tag just to have her in my life because she's been there for just about all of it. We have a common history, a shared perspective. I heard a phrase on Noggin today while Owen was watching Toot and Puddle. Friendships are like flowers because they keep growing as long as you take care of them. Katie, ours is a friendship I probably need to take better care of, but I hope it continues to bloom until we're old.

Thumbs up: Getting to watch Owen be so excited about his first trip on a fast boat.
Thumbs down: Blake and Sadie were not comfortable in their life vests (big surprise right?), and so their experience was less than wonderful. They squirmed and fussed. I finally just rode with them in the cabin without their vests (don't tell on me).
Thumbs sideways: the boat ride did put them both to sleep.

Thumbs Up: Owen swam like a fish, jumping off the back of the boat a thousand times. Ryan was so great with him, and I know he's going to be an awesome dad here shortly.
Thumbs Up again: Getting to laugh at Ryan who wore his life jacket like some adult diaper. I guess it would be a more comfortable way to float for a long time.
Thumbs Down: I didn't get to swim because it took so long getting the babies fed, held, etc.
Thumbs Down: The rain! We only got to hang out on the lake for a short time because the weather turned bad VERY quickly.
Thumbs Up: Ryan got us back to the dock seconds before the sky let loose. Thank goodness he made it because I would have been terrified trying to ride it out in the middle of the lake with three little kids!

Thumbs Up: Cookout on the dock during a storm. Friendly boating neighbors, grilled hot dogs, and hungry people.
Thumbs Down: When we went back out on the lake, Owen swallowed some water wrong and out came the hot dogs. Owen, Tim, and Ryan went right on swimming, but it was dis-gust-ing!

Thumbs Down: Blake fell down 5 minutes before we left and bumped his eyebrow on a little snap for the carpet on the boat.
Thumbs Up: Even though there was plenty of blood, the actual boo boo was not too big, and it's all healed up now.

Here's Katie!

Thumbs WAY Up: Baby Bailey is on the way!

Thumbs Down: Headache and other symptoms of pregnancy.

Me and Sadie enjoying the ride.

Thumbs Down: My shirt. Just a note to any woman preparing to take off on a boat. You are going to be going through wind and wetness which will make fabric stretch. If you are going to be holding anything like a squirming baby, do yourself a favor and wear a CREWNECK! Sorry for continuously flashing everyone.

Thumbs Up: We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express and it was super nice!

Thumbs Sideways: Staying on the boat seemed like it would have been really cool. We just had too many people.

Katie and Ryan, thank you so much for inviting us! We probably cramped your style some, but it's a memory I will keep forever. Thank you.

Mommy Weekend

2009-08-03T18:06:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago, I took the kids on a trip to visit my old college friend, Staci, and her family. Angie was also coming. Angie has been Staci's friend since middle school, and she and I clicked very quickly when I met her a few years ago the first time we got together for a mommy weekend. So, we had my 3, Staci's kids Emily, Michael, and Natalie, and Angie's daughter Julia. The four older kids played together so seamlessly that we hardly saw them most of the time. Natalie is 18 months and was very sweet to my crawling twosome.

Our rules for the weekend? Don't stress about cleaning up. Don't stress about following all the rules. Don't stress about sticking to a tight schedule. Have fun.

Spider-Owen and Iron-Mike playing hardcore 20 minutes into the weekend.

Lunch (we mommies almost forgot to feed them!)

Dance Party time! Sorry about making the curtains fall down Staci. You put those back up in no time. Wish you would share your technique with me. I can't do that kind!

Baby gathering: Blake, Sadie, Natalie, and ?? baby of another friend who came over Saturday night.

The baby gate was quickly rendered useless since they had plenty of safe-zones to crawl around in. They could loop around the upstairs and as long as all the doors were shut, we were in the clear. So? We spiraled it around, covered it with blankets, and the big kids used it as a fort downstairs all weekend.

Natalie and Sadie: This could be the beginning (hopefully) of a beautiful friendship!

This picture was taken around midnight when the big kids FINALLY tuckered out.

We had lots of fun, and I wish it had lasted a little longer. Especially with the kids staying up so late, the three of us ladies did not get enough time to just talk and enjoy each other's company. My friendship with Staci is so important to me because she knew me through that phase of life where we were all just finding ourselves. She knew me when I was a little wild and crazy, and now it's like we're in the same place in our lives. We're both moms of young kids trying to figure it out. There is an easiness in talking with Staci and Angie. It seems like we're on the same page. With the three of us, there is no judgment, and we are sure to get honest, good advice from each other about family, marriage, health, and just about anything else. Our get-togethers are far and few between, but so valuable and fun. I wish we lived closer.

PS - Owen has been asking to call Michael at bedtime every night this week. :)

You seem older

2009-07-30T21:26:00.000-07:00

Blake has been waking up in the middle of the night lately. I'd let him "cry it out" but he makes this piercing scream, and I feel bad for Sadie, Owen, and Tim. Normally, it just takes a little hug and part of a bottle to calm him back down, but the whole thing is confusing to me. He's not teething, he's eating plenty, and he's not sick. I don't understand why he's waking up. But, I secretly like that middle of the night time I'm getting with him. With twins, there's not much time for one on one snuggling. Although I admit I was sort of in a hurry for them to get through those milestones like sitting independently, holding their own bottle, even crawling, now I'm wanting to slow time down and really enjoy and connect with my babies while they're still babies. In the last month, Blake's chunky brick build has thinned out. His hair has gotten long enough that I'm ready to give him his first haircut, he's learned to stand independently, cruise around, clap his hands, and shake his head no. He took 2 steps yesterday. Today he climbed onto a ride on toy and stood on it, holding the baby gate while he shrieked at me as I turned over the laundry. He also climbed on top the roll-a-round jungle toy, standing there on the tree part reaching for the remote that was pushed back on the couch cushion. He's definitely growing up, and I'm feeling a little like I missed something. Tonight, I just snuggled him as long as I could, trying to burn into my memory what it feels like to carry his weight, his small frame, the smell of baby shampoo, his feathery hair tickling my cheek, his warmth. I know it will seem like I lay that little baby in his crib tonight and tomorrow he'll wake up and be four like his brother. And then...well, I don't even want to think about Blake, Owen, or Sadie getting any older than four. There are days like today when I want to get away from the crying, the poop, the constant mess, the incessant wrestling. But then there are nights like tonight when I don't ever want it to leave.

What was I thinking?!

2009-07-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

Owen had been asking to go to the planetarium for a couple of months now. We tried to go yesterday, and I should have taken it as a sign when we rushed up to the door just to find out that the museum is closed on Mondays. Today we tried again, arrived on time (barely), and I pushed the double decker stroller right up next to the star projector just as the 45 minute show began.

Before I go any further, let me explain. You may have already predicted my impending disaster and are wondering to yourself, "Yes, what WAS she thinking? She's taking a 4 year old and two 10 month olds into a planetarium? With other people around? Why would anyone ever do such a thing?" I'll tell you why. I don't want Owen to be lost in the fray of baby-ville. He is so interested in space and science, and I want to encourage that. That boy was so excited about going this morning that he put on one of his space themed shirts without me telling him to get dressed. When the babies woke up from nap, he did a decent job of cleaning up all of his play-doh without being asked so that we would be ready to leave. He got a toy for each of the babies to take with them in case they got fussy. Seriously, how could I NOT take him? My apologies to all other planetarium-goers this afternoon (maybe 10 other people).

We started out fine - great even. Owen was sitting all giddy on my right. Blake and Sadie were eating some Cheerios in their stroller on my left. At first, everyone's eyes lit up looking at the show on the ceiling, and I thought we were going to be fine. We were fine for all of three minutes. Remember how I wrote about the squawking at the library? Well it continues and is now accompanied by screeching. Blake can screech so loudly that I promise some days my ears must be bleeding. Those screeches make Owen go from happy to meltdown in seconds.

To make the screeching and squawking stop, I start shoving more Cheerios into their mouths. It's a successful technique for a while. Then Blake swallows wrong or something and starts to gag. He's fine, but I feel pretty guilty about it so I unbuckle him and put him on my lap for hugs. Those of you who have multiples know that this was a bad idea. At 10 months, they are already so jealous of each other in these kind of situations. Through the darkness of the fake night sky, I see Sadie starting to cry as she grabs at my leg and practically Houdini's out of her buckle. At this point we're maybe 10 minutes into the show, and I have 2 babies on my lap and Owen telling me that I need to pay attention to the ceiling and calling out "It's Jupiter! Oh man, do you see that satellite?"

Blake and Sadie are not calm snugglers. Owen calls them so squiggly wiggly and squirmy wormies. And since we are recently very interested in the texture of each other's hair and how loud we can make our sibling scream when we pull that hair, two babies on the lap lasted oh...I don't know...10 seconds? I am stuck playing the perpetual game of up and down, bounce on the knee, turn around, and take your finger out of my eye socket. Sometime during this 15 minute juggling act, Sadie ended up standing between my knees. Blake was reaching for more Cheerios off of the stroller tray, so I leaned over and buckled him back in. While I was distracted, Sadie had dropped to all fours and...here it is...crawled away! In the nearly black room, my little girl was...? In my mind she had crawled to the back of the room, and I was a horrible mother for not catching her sooner. In reality, her little booty was poking out from under a couple of seats to my right. At this point I was so embarrassed by my own stupidity for attempting this, feeling guilty for interrupting everyone else's trip to the planetarium, and exhausted from baby wrangling. I gave up, told Owen we had to leave, and asked to be let out at about minute 40 of a 45 minute show. Cheers to Owen for not throwing a fit about it.

A few minutes after the show let out, the guy who ran it bumped into us in the elevator. I apologized and told him why we came in the first place. He was very nice and told me to check out the (drawing a blank here) Astronomical Society to see about open nights at the observatory in Lynnville. We'll be checking that out for sure.

As if that adventure wasn't enough for me for the day, I also took the kids to Sam's Club, Target, and the recycling center. To wrap up the night, we went to Owen's swim lesson. It began at 6:00. At 6:10, the sky let loose, drenching the babies and me. (Owen was already wet, so that doesn't count.) I was so worn out, so needing a break, and feeling so unprepared as a mother, all I could do was laugh at the situation. I used the only towel we had to play peek-a-boo during the downpour. Sadie cracked up at her cute little self. Blake chuckled. Owen swam like a fish. I took a deep breath and somehow made it through dinner, bath, and bedtime on my own just in time for Tim to walk through the door and tell me what a stressful day he had.

Dressing Alike

2009-07-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

I've been asked a couple times in the last few days if I always dress my twins alike. Yes, for the most part, I prefer that their outfits coordinate. It's just so much cuter when their stuff matches. I'm not going to expect them to dress the same forever, but for now I really don't think it's an issue. Here's the thing, I struggled with the idea of having twins. I was expecting to add one baby to our family, give Owen one sibling to play/contend with, be able to keep my life pretty much the same. Having TWO babies changed my plan dramatically. I had to quit my job because it costs too much money to pay for 3 in daycare. I was on partial bed rest by the end of my pregnancy and felt like I missed out on a lot of quality play time with Owen. The time, money, and strategic maneuvering that twins require was a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around.

Blake and Sadie are two fabulous babies. I love them more and more every day. Now they are beginning to play peek-a-boo over the edges of their cribs and laugh at each other when they knock a toy back and forth. It's sweet, and I can finally see what people mean when they say that twins are so much fun. At the beginning, though, it wasn't. I didn't like not being able to spend that special time rocking a sleeping baby because the other baby needed me too. I didn't like not getting to know every nuance of my newborns' movement because I had to take care of so many other things. For me, having two newborns at one time was difficult and stressful. Dressing them in cute little matching outfits each day made me smile a little. It made me appreciate having such adorable little bundles. It was one of the only parts of those beginning months that I would consider "fun".

Now I can't imagine dressing them in outfits that don't match, so I keep doing it. I probably will until they have their own opinion about it. Their personalities are already strong enough that I don't think some cute little clothes are going to stifle their individuality anyway.

Here are a few of my favorite matching outfits so far:

Sweet Harmony

2009-07-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while my kids take a break from ScreamFest in the van and sing together. Well, I mean the babies babble and Owen makes up some noises to go along. It almost sounds like some a capella 3 part harmony of AHHHHHHHH's and babababa's and daa!'s. Still noisey but music to my ears.

Precious moment

2009-07-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

The twins were napping. I was worn out and trying to doze off for a minute. Owen kept crawling on me and being wiggly, and I was getting pretty annoyed because I just wanted a few minutes peace. He started sniffing me, so feeling kind of erked, I asked him what he was doing. "You smell," he said. Great. Thanks.
"What do you mean, Owen?"
"You just smell so good like a mom." Then I got a big hug and kiss. Awwwwww! Does he HAVE to grow up?

Other moments from the last couple of days?
"Mom, I don't like those black awfuls you're eating." (olives)
"You always love me like God."

Owen-isms

2009-07-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

Owen says the cutest stuff constantly. Here are some from today:

"Um, I think I just want Cocoa Pupps for breakfast. Okay? Yeah. You just need to feed me Cocoa Pupps, Mom. And chocolate-milk-so-I-can-drink-the-chocolate-milk-part" This has improved because it used to be Popo Pupps. We are still stuck on the 10 word synonym for chocolate milk.

"Maybe after swim lessons, if I can't have nachos, we can go to Pizza Hunt. " I love the extra "N's" he puts into words. (chicken nungets)

"No mom, you don't have three kids; you have four." He counts on his fingers. "Me, Blakey, Sadie, and George. Don't forget George. He's your kid too." To clarify, George is Curious George who is a curious little monkey imaginary friend. George is the one who gets chocolate pudding on the wall and "shrinks up the sink" to flood the bathroom.

When it is just starting to rain. "I think someone just got the biggest sprink-u-lar on the planet. There's a sprink-u-lar as big as the earth." To me, it just doesn't feel right to say sprinkler anymore.

I'm on the phone with a friend. "Mom, can I call to her? I wanna call to her." ...and repeat until mom gives in.

"Mom, one thing I know. You're just adorable. You're adorable, Mom." Gotta love him.

Tim explained that he was taking medicide for his heartburn. "If I took that and it got on my heart, it would burn me, and that would be really bad because my heart's just gotta love everything."

Seriously, how is it possible my little boy is this sweet?! All of that in one day.

Oh Blakey....

2009-06-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, Blake was a handful. First, he learned to pull his sister's hair. She would scream; he would laugh, laugh, laugh. We've had our baby fence for 3 days now, and it has already proven to be less useful than we had hoped. The plan was to have a SAFE place to let the kiddos roam while I made dinner and such. So much for safe. If I don't want to have a bald baby girl, I can't leave the two in there together.

During dinner, Blake surprize attacked me, knocking an entire bowl of baby food under the table, splattering a good 6x3 foot area. I have tried to clean it all up, but you know how there are those messes that never get fully cleaned up because you always seem to miss a spot. It's one of those.

And, after bath while I was diapering his sister, Blake found a tag from his new pj's and took a bite. Shame on me for letting it lay on the floor in the first place, but I am not a wonderful housekeeper. Seems like I could spend my entire day cleaning just for the house to be a complete disaster again five minutes later. I'd rather spend my entire day doing something more important. Anyway, I tried to pry his mouth open and find the piece he'd eaten. I tried to do a finger sweep. He's got two new top teeth now to match his bottom two, and man can he bite hard! Ouch! Blaker Bear just kept gnawing away at that piece of paper. I couldn't see it, couldn't find it, couldn't get it out of his mouth, until eventually I guess he must have swallowed it. I wonder if that's on the "okay" list of foods for a 9-month-old.

As much as I had those "pull your hair out" moments today, I also had some "melt your heart" ones. That's what's so great about being a mom. There are so many little things that make you smile every day: Blake's chuckle when I tickled him, his banana filled smile during breakfast, his interaction with Owen and Sadie while they played a new game called "All on-the-board". Owen meant to say all aboard as he drug his giggling, squealing babies up and down the hallway on his blanket. And now as Blake sleeps so sweetly, all of my frustration over today's chaos has gone, and I can't help but smile down at my sweet baby boy.

Too Stinkin' Cute

2009-06-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight there was a little moment that I want to remember. There are actually several of those little moments everyday. After a long day of working outside with dad, Owen took his bath, put on his pajamas, and snuggled into our bed for a little quiet time before he went to sleep. I said, "Owen, you're just too stinkin' cute."

He stuck his little foot up to my nose and said sincerely, "No, I'm not. Smell. I just took a bath." Oh, I just love you so much Bubber Bean.

Story time at the Library

2009-06-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

This morning, I decided that it was time for a little outing since I could feel the house closing in on me yesterday. Could a mom do anything more wonderful for her children on a Tuesday morning than take them to the library for story time? It sounded like a great idea.

True to character, we arrived just a smidge late (2 minutes) for the preschool story time. All heads turned to watch me struggle to reach over the double decker stroller to grab the door and clumsily steer my way in, banging on the door frame, using my elbow to hold the door open enough, asking Owen over and over to move forward so that I did not run over his toes. Eventually, we got situated. While the librarian continued her routine of songs and stories, we continued to draw attention because every 30 seconds or so, one of the babies would squawk loudly and smile. Cute? Yes. Embarrassing? Yes. The theme of the day was Father's Day which included a book called "My Dad" and the song D-A-D-D-Y sung to the tune of Bingo. It was a nice presentation, and we will attend more story times, however we need to work on our blending-in-with-the-crowd skills.

Now, Central Library happens to have a very inviting area filled with toys, and I am greatly mistakin' if I think I can get away with leaving before we spend some quality time playing underneath the artificial oak tree. I should have known. But, hey, the babies weren't hungry, wet, or needing to sleep right then, so why not. This is where I stretched my luck. See, the sweet, well-meaning librarian informed me that my twins were adorable (thank you) and the perfect age for the baby story time program that was going to begin in five minutes. I knew I was tempting fate, but I've been feeling like I need to step up my game with them. I feel like I don't do as much educational play with them as I did when Owen was a baby. It probably boils down to having three kids clamoring for attention and a household of five messy people to tend. Nevertheless, they don't get the nightly book reading time, sing-song eye-to-eye play time as often. So, yes, when the librarian invited us, I would have felt extremely guilty if I just left and neglected to afford Blake and Sadie the same opportunities as their older brother.

I would show you a picture, but I did not bring my camera with me nor would I have had the extra appendages needed to point and shoot, so picture this: around 15 mommies with their hair and make up fixed sitting in a circle with their baby on their lap, playing Where is Thumbkin and Open Them, Shut Them. Meanwhile, I am struggling to keep Blake on my lap, doing one handed motions because my other hand is holding the back of Sadie's dress as she tries to crawl away, looking like she's on a crawling treadmill. Then I drag her to my knee, enlist the help of Owen to sing to Blake, try to keep squirmy wormy entertained while she screams to go explore, and sit and watch helplessly as Owen picks up Blake by the underarms and heaves him out of the center of the circle to which he has escaped. Horrified/empathetic faces from the lovely mommies with one baby nicely on lap.

I keep switching babies for quite sometime to the point that I can feel myself literally break into a sweat. Owen continues to sing in a silly voice, replacing the occasional lyric with the word tooty - not exactly charming. Blake crawls over to Sweet Librarian who picks him up during Ring Around the Rosy and soon after sits him back on the floor. I'm not above accepting help from total strangers in this situation, so I was actually kind of bummed that she put him down after only one song. When he crawls back, I realize that he has crusty gunk all over one side of his face, so she was probably a little grossed out and decided to be hands-off with the groady baby. Apparently I didn't wipe faces thoroughly enough after breakfast because, remember, we were running just a little late. I let Sadie Jane crawl over to eat one of the lovely mommy's flip flops so that I could dig for a wipe and clean up my dear Blaker.

My personal fiasco finally comes to an end when the song part is over and they dump a mound of baby toys into the middle of the circle. 15 babies crawl to the middle and commence playing. This was interesting to me. A study of natural tendencies. Several times, Blake crawled to a toy, then batted and scooted it to the outskirts of the play area while he experimented with it on his own. Sadie went from one lovely mommy and baby to another, greeted them with the squawk and smile she practiced during Owen's story time, swiped the toy from the other baby's little fists, waved it around, sat it down, and moved on. She just had to be involved in whatever anyone else was doing. My babies have their own personalities and have from the start. I enjoyed watching as Blake sought out some alone time and Sadie charmed the masses with her social performance.

In the middle of all this I realize that someone needs a diaper change. Now, if you come to an event like this with one baby, it's no sweat. Excuse yourself, find a bathroom, do a quick change-a-roo, and return. For me, this would have meant buckling both babies into the stroller, asking people to move out of my stroller's way, and getting that darn thing out of the heavy door with Owen in tow. At that point I would just leave. But after having survived the chaos that was structured story time with crawling twins, I was still regaining my senses and really, really didn't want to leave without giving them a chance to play freely. So, I let my stinky baby play for quite a while until enough people were gone that I could manage to get my stroller to the door without disturbing anyone.

We checked out our books, buckled everyone into the van, and babies fell asleep before we hit the first traffic light. Lesson learned: Do not underestimate the effort a mother will exert in order to let her children attend story time at the library. The library was exhausting, but well worth it. I did turn on some Yo Gabba Gabba (then Little Bill) to entertain Owen while I snoozed on the couch after lunch. I don't know how the "no t.v." moms do it.

Kicking It Off...

2009-06-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

Here it is. My first post. It took me a while to do this mainly because I don't like the word "blog". It just sounds crude to me. But, alas, I just haven't been holding myself accountable enough for writing down the memories I want to preserve for my children, and perhaps this format will keep me motivated.

Brief autobiography: Grew up in Southeast Ohio. Nashport. You know, next to Frazeysburg?...Adamsville?...Dresden? Yes, the basket Dresden. My parents are both teachers at a school for children with moderate to severe disabilities. I have one brother who is nearly seven years younger than me. All-in-all, my family made my childhood pretty darn great. I went to college at Miami University, met my future husband on spring break my senior year, and began teaching 7th grade in inner-city Cincinnati. A few years later, I moved to Indiana to marry Tim and cut out that long distance relationship business. I taught several years across the river in Kentucky - about an hour commute. I even toted my son back and forth with me for two years until, surprise!, we found out we were going to have twins. With the cost of daycare and knowing I did not want to drive three young children around for nearly two hours a day, we reluctantly made the decision that I would stay home with the babies. For many people, this may sound ideal, but I never really saw this in the stars for me. I was very nervous about it. Not because I was worried about being a good enough mom, but on a personal level I was nervous about relying on my husband, companionship, financial crappiness, not liking to do chores, and needing to feel a sense of accomplishment and professional success. But, this past year, I have surprised myself with how much I like being a full time mom. It works quite nicely with my erratic sleeping patterns, my tendancy to overload, my desire to spend time with my children and soak it all in. There is nothing I cherish more than my kids, and I like being there for all the little moments.

Owen is three, almost four. Apparently when you turn four, you are suddenly a much bigger kid who will -zing- like all kids of vegetables, -bzzzz- love to eat strawberries, -pow- clean his room. I'm looking forward to all of these. I think he is charming, witty, smart, handsome, articulate, relatively well-behaved, and decently athletic. I could not ask for a better son. Currently, he is over the moon for any and all things related to space. He knows more about the solar system than I do, claims that he is going to be a scientist in space when he grows up, and plays with rocket ships and "Planet Heroes" incessantly. I think this is very cool except when I have things to do and he follows me around saying, "Mooooo-oommm, do I have to tell you 42 times?! Come. play. now!" Oh, little buddy, I wish I had the play time stamina I did when I was little. But my adult brain seems only to be able to stay in outer space for about a half an hour at a time, once or twice a day. I wish I could turn off the part that is thinking of putting the laundry away or wanting to nap while the babies are asleep. I wish that I never had to say, "Not now," because when we are on the same wave length, pushing the super-fast-hyper-blast button we drew inside of our cardboard box space shuttle, my heart is so filled with love and I am so thankful to be with you.

Blake, well he'll just melt you. His little 8-month-old self is just a solid brick of baby power, hence the nickname Blakerilla. He also goes by Blakey, Blaker, Blaker Bear, Blakeapottimus, and Big Ol' Blake. He is strong, inflexible, and has a tendancy to wollup his mother, twin sister, and baby food with his powerful, excited, baby arm flappy-ness. He also frog kicks his feet when you lift him up to the point that you feel like he may just kick his way out of your grasp. But for all his strength, he just seems to have the kindest heart. When he smiles, you can just sense his loving nature. Now that he has learned to crawl and pull up on things, he follows his sister around, looking for interesting things to bang on. But, oh, the screaming and shouting he is capable of when he is up and can't get down (or has toppled over). It's ear-splitting quite honestly. Every day he seems a little older, a little more capable, and I'm loving watching him.

Finally, Sadie Jane. Or Crazy Jane, Lil' miss Jane, Sweet Jane, Sadie Lady, Chickpea, Little Chickadee, or as Tim calls her, Princy Princess. I get the feeling that as she gets older, she will be my daredevil. Right now, she's a total momma's girl. She cries if I leave the room, scurries onto my lap whenever she has the opportunity, tries to catch my attention even when she's being taken care of by someone else in the room. She's adventurous - she started crawling at seven months and hasn't stopped moving. She tries to stick her face in the water at the pool, grabs things off of shelves from her stroller while shopping, eat anything she can find, and loves to play slightly rough - you know, tossing in the air, turning upside down, tickling, climbing onto Owen. She already thinks she's funny, and she is. She has limitless facial expressions which are enhanced by her two bottom teeth. She laughs at herself when she blows raspberries on my arms when I'm carrying her to bed. She's just too stinkin' cute. *Kiss kiss*

And there. My first post. See now, already I'm glad to at least have that written down. I can't believe they are this old already, and I know it will go by in the blink of an eye. I wish I could just capture it all.